Babe’s Mane Blog

Teaching women how to wear hair – one (strand, mane, head…) at a time.

Babe's blog is no longer active. Here you'll find an archive of posts from March 2007 thru December 2009. See the Hair Direct Official Blog for more recent posts.

Random Thoughts - Chris Rock on Oprah

Thursday, October 01, 2009 9:45 AM  |  by Babe with a Mane

Oprah - you know...I really do love you. But yesterday while watching your show? The few natural hairs I have left on my head stood up. Chris Rock? He may know a bit about hair, but I'm thinking he needs more education before spouting off lines like, "Black women shouldn't care about what white people think." How about re-phrasing that to say, "women (no matter their color) shouldn't care what others think." That's more like it since there are 20 MILLION of us suffering from hairloss. Here's another big suprise for you Chris, we come from all walks of life, we earn all different amounts of money, we all have different reasons for our hairloss and even different ways we try to solve our issues. So, I figure it's up to me to help Oprah teach him...even though right now, I'd just like to take him to school.

I'm a 45 year old white woman and let me tell you, ALL women, no matter the color of their skin have the SAME issues! I consider myself one of the lucky white girls who actually worked part time in a store that sold weave hair, thread, needles, you know...the tools of the trade for weaves. Not one white woman ventured in during my employment. Why? They just don't know about all of their options yet. I was FULL of questions when I worked there because little by little my hair was disappearing and I HATED it. Thankfully, my black girlfriends were wonderfully patient with me and taught me that I could do the same thing! They ordered my hair for me, braided me up, sewed those tracks on and I was instantly transformed into a woman with hair. I didn't care what color they were and they didn't care what color I was. We were WOMEN WITH HAIRLOSS supporting each other.

That was when I gave up the wigs and started wearing weaves. Yes, AA women know MUCH more about the options since it is part of your culture. White women? Most have no knowledge about the options and continue to struggle in silence and shame...just wishing they knew where to turn for help.

Wigs? Oh sure, we know about wigs, but as most of us know, those are just plain yucky. You have to take them off at night and then what, hide it in the bathroom, come out in a beautiful set of lingerie, with no hair on and say seductively to your husband, "Here I am darling, how do I look?" Umm yeah, I'm sure he's thrilled with the vision of hairless beauty he sees before him. Come on...get real. 

White women end up finding a solution online and some are paying THOUSANDS of dollars for hairpieces and roped into a contract. I found a website just yesterday that charges women over $16,000.00 for ONE hair piece. Did you catch that?????  $16,000.00!!!!! White women flock to Hair Club for Men/Women because they think it's their only option. What do you say Oprah, let's educate the 20 MILLION american women of all colors what the options are if you have thin hair or you're bald.

My natural hair has not been seen for over 20 years. It has hidden under wigs and weaves, under toppik, colored sprays, couvre and dermatch. My growing hair is a significant burden. It takes too much time to try to fix it up to be presentable, too much money to try to fix, too much energy to worry about and conceal.

Every day, I used to wish for great hair. Every day I was ashamed of my thin hair. Every day, I woke up feeling confident, feminine and sexy inside. Then, I looked in the mirror at my natural hair and those positive thoughts were robbed from me. My natural hair forced me to feel unattractive, timid and insecure.

I know who I am inside and I wanted to project that image to everyone else. To do that, my hair had to change.

Women who are bald or have very thin hair, are not considered "socially acceptable" in the general public's eye. I wanted to be considered socially acceptable, my natural hair wouldn't let me.

Now, my dream hair allows me to lead a normal life. I wake up to my husband nuzzling my neck while my soft hair is brushed aside. I jump in the shower to wash my hair. I look in the mirror to see a confident and sexy woman, looking back at me. Nope, it's not my natural hair, I buy it, shave my head and glue my dream hair to my scalp once a week where it perches 24/7.

I don't waste hours trying to disguise myself to fit in. I blow dry and curl my hair and start my day with a spring in my step. I don't catch others staring at my thin hair while trying to have a conversation with me. The same confident, self assurance that I feel inside is now projected on the outside. There are no further internal battles between true persona and an incongruous outward appearance. I am finally, after a lifetime of dreaming, able to project an image that reflects the confident, sexy, intelligent, feminine woman I truly am.

I now help others learn how to wear hair if that is what they desire. It's a wonderful feeling to help women around the entire world who have been searching for a solution and like me, just want to project who they really are. What do you say Oprah, how about you send Chris Rock to me for a day and let me teach him what hairloss really means to women? Don't worry, I won't hurt him!

Babe With a Mane

About Babe with a Mane

My natural hair has not been seen for over 20 years. It has hidden under wigs and weaves, under toppik, colored sprays, couvre and dermatch. My growing hair is a significant burden. It takes too much time to try to fix it up to be presentable, too much money to try to fix, too much energy to worry about and conceal. Every day, I used to wish for great hair. Every day I was ashamed of my thin hair. Every day, I woke up feeling confident, feminine and sexy inside. Then, I looked in the mirror at my natural hair and those positive thoughts were robbed from me. My natural hair forced me to feel unattractive, timid and insecure. I know who I am inside and I wanted to project that image to everyone else. To do that, my hair had to change. Women who are bald or have very thin hair, are not considered "socially acceptable" in the general public's eye. I wanted to be considered socially acceptable, my natural hair wouldn't let me. My dream hair allows me to lead a normal life. I wake up to my guy nuzzling my neck while my soft hair is brushed aside. I jump in the shower to wash my hair. I look in the mirror to see a confident and sexy woman, looking back at me. I don't waste hours trying to disguise myself to fit in. I blow dry and curl my hair and start my day with a spring in my step. I don't catch others staring at my thin hair while trying to have a conversation with me. The same confident, self assurance that I feel inside is now projected on the outside. There are no further internal battles between true persona and an incongruous outward appearance. I am finally, after a lifetime of dreaming, able to project an image that reflects the confident, sexy, intelligent, feminine woman I truly am.

Comments

HD-Lisa said:

Babe, very well said.  I only caught part of the show and I totally agree with you!  If you are going to write a book, make a movie and/or be on Oprah, at least know the facts and what you are talking about!

luvmyhair said:

So, missed it - at work.. What did he say???

I was able to come home for lunch on Wednesday and watched the Wendy Williams show = AA woman..  Had her hanging up and was talking about how when she travels her hair went in her carry on bag!!  You are right... I'm glad that at least someone is talking about it...

chachi76 said:

Well Babe.  I do agree with u regarding the hairloss issue, however, that was not what Good Hair is about.  Believe me, alot of African American women are a little ticked about this movie in the sense that we feel it throws us under the bus.  U must understand.  For black women it's not necessarily about hairloss it's about having the so-called good hair...the white girl hair...the mixed girl hair...the anything but "nappy" hair.  This is something we were raised with.  Our mothers perming our hair when we're 4 and 5 years old.  The social conditioning that says that our hair is bad.  We get this from white folks, spanish folks, jewish folks, italian folks...heck even our own people.  So i say again...i understand where you're coming from regarding hairloss but that's not what the movie is about and alot of the african american women i've spoken to on the subject did not agree with most of the things said on the Oprah show either.  He did not explain why we feel the way we do about our hair and if he was gonna do a mockumentary he should've been more truthful instead of making jokes at our expense.  I'm sure there is something to be learned from the movie but please everyone know that he did not give the whole of it. I could go into more detailing but to be honest...my wrist is hurting.  LOL.  Maybe i'll come back later and post more thoughts.

Regards

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