Now it's my turn. I am usually the one telling everyone else that fear stands for F=false E=evidence A=appearing R=real. Isn't it pathetic that I'm having difficulty believing my own words today? I've had surgeries before and have never been afraid, but I'm here to tell you that this time, I'm scared. Now there isn't any rational reason for me to be so chicken, but I can't seem to help myself.
So, although most of you know my story, I'll give a brief version of it here. On June 27th, I had a really bad equestrian accident. In layman's terms, my voluptuous butt was thrown from a very large horse (who I hope has since been turned into glue...sorry PETA). Apparently on my way down, I did some olympian gymnastic moves but the landing wasn't so beautiful. I ended up with a broken right ankle and then there's my left knee. Ok, so, I can handle someone telling me I have a torn ACL, but when you add to that a ruptured (stage 3) Medial Collateral Ligament and a ruptured (stage 3) Lateral Collateral Ligament, for some reason, I start to sweat ...errr....glow.
I have been living in a cast on my right leg and a full brace on my left leg since June 27th. This Wednesday, day after tomorrow, I go in for surgery. They will repair my mcl and lcl and then....take a "gently used" ACL from a cadaver and drill it into my leg. While I'm truly looking forward to being able to bend my knee again and even walk up or down the stairs, the fear is taking it's toll on me. If any of you have gone through an experience like this, would you mind reassuring me a little bit?
I am usually so positive it would make you nauseous and most of you know just what I mean. Actually, I think I can pinpoint the exact moment I lost my bravado...it was just after I watched just the acl part of the surgery http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8EpT3uCVWU . Watching this was NOT a good idea. So, anyone want to kick my butt to get me over this fear? Or ...would you like to join my pathetic little pity party?
I hate owwwies...