Babe’s Mane Blog

Teaching women how to wear hair – one (strand, mane, head…) at a time.

Babe's blog is no longer active. Here you'll find an archive of posts from March 2007 thru December 2009. See the Hair Direct Official Blog for more recent posts.

Life - Sugery Panic

Monday, September 21, 2009 9:21 AM  |  by Babe with a Mane

Now it's my turn. I am usually the one telling everyone else that fear stands for F=false E=evidence A=appearing R=real. Isn't it pathetic that I'm having difficulty believing my own words today? I've had surgeries before and have never been afraid, but I'm here to tell you that this time, I'm scared. Now there isn't any rational reason for me to be so chicken, but I can't seem to help myself.

So, although most of you know my story, I'll give a brief version of it here. On June 27th, I had a really bad equestrian accident. In layman's terms, my voluptuous butt was thrown from a very large horse (who I hope has since been turned into glue...sorry PETA). Apparently on my way down, I did some olympian gymnastic moves but the landing wasn't so beautiful. I ended up with a broken right ankle and then there's my left knee. Ok, so, I can handle someone telling me I have a torn ACL, but when you add to that a ruptured (stage 3) Medial Collateral Ligament and a ruptured (stage 3) Lateral Collateral Ligament, for some reason, I start to sweat ...errr....glow.

I have been living in a cast on my right leg and a full brace on my left leg since June 27th. This Wednesday, day after tomorrow, I go in for surgery. They will repair my mcl and lcl and then....take a "gently used" ACL from a cadaver and drill it into my leg. While I'm truly looking forward to being able to bend my knee again and even walk up or down the stairs, the fear is taking it's toll on me. If any of you have gone through an experience like this, would you mind reassuring me a little bit?

I am usually so positive it would make you nauseous and most of you know just what I mean. Actually, I think I can pinpoint the exact moment I lost my was just after I watched just the acl part of the surgery . Watching this was NOT a good idea. So, anyone want to kick my butt to get me over this fear? Or ...would you like to join my pathetic little pity party?

I hate owwwies...



About Babe with a Mane

My natural hair has not been seen for over 20 years. It has hidden under wigs and weaves, under toppik, colored sprays, couvre and dermatch. My growing hair is a significant burden. It takes too much time to try to fix it up to be presentable, too much money to try to fix, too much energy to worry about and conceal. Every day, I used to wish for great hair. Every day I was ashamed of my thin hair. Every day, I woke up feeling confident, feminine and sexy inside. Then, I looked in the mirror at my natural hair and those positive thoughts were robbed from me. My natural hair forced me to feel unattractive, timid and insecure. I know who I am inside and I wanted to project that image to everyone else. To do that, my hair had to change. Women who are bald or have very thin hair, are not considered "socially acceptable" in the general public's eye. I wanted to be considered socially acceptable, my natural hair wouldn't let me. My dream hair allows me to lead a normal life. I wake up to my guy nuzzling my neck while my soft hair is brushed aside. I jump in the shower to wash my hair. I look in the mirror to see a confident and sexy woman, looking back at me. I don't waste hours trying to disguise myself to fit in. I blow dry and curl my hair and start my day with a spring in my step. I don't catch others staring at my thin hair while trying to have a conversation with me. The same confident, self assurance that I feel inside is now projected on the outside. There are no further internal battles between true persona and an incongruous outward appearance. I am finally, after a lifetime of dreaming, able to project an image that reflects the confident, sexy, intelligent, feminine woman I truly am.


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